When I was little I literally gave myself a hernia at the age of 3 because it took ALL my self will to NOT squeeze the living life out of my pets, specifically cats. My mom had the best taste in pound kitties ’cause they were VERY tolerant of me as a toddler. I loved them so much I just wanted nothing more than to hug them as tight as I could! And my mom was there reminding me how gentle I needed to be.

But I was always wanting to cuddle with them and have them WANT to cuddle with me. I found it devastating when they’d get up and leave or never even choose me in the first place. They always chose my mom.

So what did I do? I closed the door to my room and then they couldn’t get away! They had no choice! Well, they chose to wait by the door until one of my parents noticed they were missing. Ouch!

The problem? Not my age or immaturity (though I know those were both going against me) but it was actually me FORCING the cat to hang out with me. How would you like to be forced to hang out with someone and then have them make you do everything they want to do and not give you any say at all? And not just as a “one time” thing either, but it was like that every time you were around them. You would be waiting by the door, too!

I know I would.

Once I got my own cat and grew up a little, I realized that I had to do things right from day 1 and never force my cat to spend time with me. Because of doing that and sticking to it (and avoiding the immediate reaction to snatch her out of the air when she goes to leap off my lap and maybe I’m not quite fulfilled with my quality time with her) I have a great relationship with my cat built on respect and trust. She knows she can come to me and hang out whenever she wants, and she always knows she can leave whenever she wants which makes her MORE LIKELY to come hang out even if it’s just for a short while.

I’m going to compare it to the type of people who won’t let you get off the phone and the type who hear you gotta go and immediately say, “Okay! Bye!” real easily. You’re more likely to call them more often even if you may not have a lot of time because you know it will be no problem to get off the line with them when you need to. Same goes for cats. What if they’re hungry, thirsty, hot, cold, or need to just go to the bathroom and you’re holding them back?